Friday, July 6, 2012

Challenging God's faithfulness?

God’s faithfulness is ever present even in the most unseen ways.

I experienced this when I went to see a neurologist for my shaking and then was sent to a Rheumatologist for having too many antibodies. Long story short, I found out that I’m perfect candidate for a progressive autoimmune disease. Yet, I cannot be formally diagnosed for this disease because it has not progressed to the point where I’m externally exhibiting the common symptoms of this disease. This news was hard to grasp, confusing, and until a few weeks ago, upsetting. It was upsetting because I was not concerned about a progressive autoimmune disease, I wanted to know why I shake! Instead my pursuit was completely derailed by one blood test. I’m glad, thankful, grateful, to know about this disease, but it does not answer the questions I have about my shaking.

That sums up the conversations, or more aptly put, complaints I shared with God the first few weeks after my “diagnosis” – or lack thereof.

Then while taking a breath from all my complaining, I was convicted as I realized God’s faithfulness.

Allow me to reiterate the word progressive. Progress is a favorite word of politician’s, and we American’s like to hear it because we like to be going somewhere. The American Dream. Generally the word progress is indicative of going somewhere better. That is not the case with this disease. Yet here I sit a perfect storm for this disease yet all is well. That is faithfulness, God’s faithfulness.

There is more to faithfulness than what we can see. there is a whole component of what we cannot see that exemplifies God’s faithfulness.

Recognizing this has given me hope. I don’t know why I shake. I just know it’s uncomfortable, humbling, and annoying. Yet neither did I know about this disease. What does that tell me about God?

God knows.  Because of Him, I know about this disease and am prepared to fight its progression, and all this before the disease has even seriously affected me! Therefore, I do not have to worry about my shaking. I realize now that God is before me when it comes to my health. I used to worry that he was dropping the ball or that I was handed the short straw and demanded to suffer, but I know he has me completely in his arms. And may I rest well there.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:7)

Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?" declares the LORD. "Do not I fill heaven and earth?" declares the LORD. (Jeremiah 23:24)


april mchugh said...

You are have grown into such a beautiful young lady!! You are an inspiration to me and I am sure to many others!!!! I am Keeping the faith and resting in his arms!!!!! Love you Emily!!!!

Jennifer T said...

Hi Emily,
your recent post showed up in my fb newsfeed (We met a handful of times in while in college & friended one another there). I am praising God for His faithfulness to prepare you! He worked in a similar way for one of my brothers - he has lupus. The enemy threatens to rattle our family's emotions but we know that God is both the Maker and Healer and we trust Him. He will be glorified through these trials! You are in my prayers. God bless you with His continuous peace!
In Him,
"I have cared for you since you were born.Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime—
until your hair is white with age.
I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. (Isaiah 46:3, 4 NLT)

Grace and Peace to You said...

Jennifer! I do remember meeting you at UTSA. Glad to hear from you. Thank you for your kind comment, your words are true and an encouragement. I will be praying for your brother as well. May God be glorified in all our lives.