Confessions of a PK

Mom, dad, and me at Seaworld

I write ‘PK’ –Preacher’s Kid– because my father serves God in a pastoral role. But since I’m 25 I wonder, does the K in PK still apply? I don’t think I will ever shake it! But let the record show that I have grown leaps and bounds in maturity since I last sat on the receiving end of a flannel-board bible story lesson.

So much of who I am today is a result of who my parents are. I think that is the case of any person, no matter their parent’s calling. My parent’s calling had a particular influence on my life because the arena in which my spiritual formation with Christ and with the Church directly intersected. 

Lately I’ve been asking myself, what do you wish you knew then (as a young PK) that you know now (as a older PK)?

I’d like to know as a young PK what I am beginning to understand today as a seminary wife, what it means to be entrusted with the Gospel. Not entitled, entrusted. Full-time ministry is a burdensome call, yet a humbling one too. My parents loved the Church. They genuinely were excited to go and worship God at church. Their friendly faces at church were (and are) real. Which was not always the case for mine, but as I grew older God opened my heart and I went from respecting their passion to sharing it.

Sometimes I was confused by my parents, especially since their boss, God, is a mysterious. It is hard to comprehend God’s timing. I am sure there were times I said things like, “You did what?” and “I’m not doing that!” I was also  confused by the conflict in our church and hurt by judging eyes directed toward my family. Our church was small and those that attended were not just congregants, many became (and are) intimate family friends. I think it was good for me to experience confusion, conflict and judgment, because later when I experienced such unfortunates in the para church organization I was leading, my parents knew just how to comfort me. All my dad had to say was, “sheep bite.” It’s been neat to share similar experiences, its helped ease the inflicted pain.

My most treasured perk as a PK was the willingness of the congregation to know and love me. They were burdened for my parents and therefore became burdened for me and my sisters. As a PK, community was handed to me on a silver spoon. The opportunities to make friends, be encouraged, and be pursued were endless. This treasured perk sometimes resulted in pride and self-entitlement. But God in his grace took extra measure to ensure I stayed meek and humble. And I’m thankful for the grace the congregation extended to me.

I did not realize the depth of my shy nature until I was a college freshman on the hunt for a new community of believers. Before college began, God impressed on my heart that he wanted me to get more out of my college experience than a diploma, he wanted me to know him more. And in order for this to occur I knew I needed to step outside of my comfort and seek a new community of believers. This challenge resulted in feeling the weakest and most insecure that I had ever felt before. I had never met so many people that did not know me! It was a good learning experience and grew my heart for the strangers that had stepped into my father’s church. It also opened my eyes to see people on the fringes of society.

Advice for PKs: Carry your cross and deny yourself, don’t deny Christ and/or the Church. I believe PKs are more prone to flying the coop, moving out of their childhood home and leaving the Church. Why? Because I was quite close to doing such! It takes courage, initiative, faith, and trust for a PK to continue living in Christ after they stop living with their parents. They’ve seen the good, bad, and the ugly. Ministry in messy, but since we all are sinners I'm not sure we can escape that messiness...unless we live in a cave. A visit to the dentist will always be painful, but its needed. I could go an visit a new dentist office, but the tools (especially the needle they use to numb your gums) will likely be used by that office too.

Satan tried to hold me back, he tried keeping me hung up on the past, and he tried to usher in habits that led me away from Christ but Christ was patient, faithful and strong. Christ helped me appreciate the good, bad and the ugly I saw in the Church. And now, I understand my past better and appreciate it. All the while, God put a personal twist on my relationship with him, which was so need after my parent’s faith felt so large. Church, being a part of the body of Christ, became more than a family tradition, it is a personal conviction.

Sharing my parent’s spotlight was great! But now, as an older PK, I want my own spotlight! Not for my glory, but for God’s. I want his light to shine vibrantly out from me. I want to experience God pouring out his blessing upon me because I choose him. (Yes, choose, because God has much more planned for us than our conversion).